It is DONE

Okay after dwelling on everything yesterday afternoon and feeling sick in the process, i decided that I need to do something to end this relationship, or at least find out exactly what MD wants to do.

I had put somethings of his in a bag and decided after work to leave them at his front door..just t-shirts that i had worn home in the last few weeks and a couple of towels, nothing much.

So I left them at his door and then rang him to tell him i had done that....he was like "thanks gorgeous, I will see you tonight", i responded with "really, are you sure you want to come around?" he replies "yeah I'll see you later why?", then I said it "I dont want you coming around if you are going to split up from me. I dont need to hear it and you dont need to say it to my face okay"....he just chuckled and reply "okay gorgeous, ill cya later"...i just said "okay cya".

Well he didn't come around, so i guess he has decided that I am just not worth the hassle, our love is not strong enough to get through his parents and his daughters hatred..or more to the point he couldn't be bothered fixing his fuck ups when he downed me to his family etc.

So that was that, until about 10pm when i started to feel sad, not crying sad, just sad that it was done. No msg's no phone calls nothing from him. So what did dickhead me do...i msg'd him. Nothing bad, nothing nasty - nothing even remotely psycho, but a msg never the less...it went

"you will always be in my heart i was wishing you would come tonight but i understand and hope that one day we can be friends"

is that psycho? probably is actually, as when i think about it..I shouldn't have msg'd him at all. Well there was no reply to that. By this morning I was done. I had laid awake in bed last night thinking about everything and how i seem to sugarcoat everything he has done and decided that enough is enough. He does not deserve me if he can not declare his love for me to his family and defend me against them (they have horns i tell ya) when they are in "destroy Dreamy mode".

So i turn up to work and whalaa a email from him..

Good morning, hope you slept good, sorry didnt hear your message last night, i fell asleep on the couch before the program gangs of oz, woke at 12:30 and went to bed, i picked up a phone from my dad (note: his phone is broken) but havent had time to sit down and work it out thats why i am responding this way. Then as normal slept in this morning, i didnt think you wanted me to come around, i must have misunderstood that, and whats this part ONE DAY YOU HOPE WE CAN BE friends?, you are always in my thoughts and i want to be friends


I just replied with "ok no problem"

That is that, friends. haha if only he new how hot i looked today.

Anyway i feel good, I feel relieved and I am having Kat around for dinner tonight so that will be nice. I am moving on....on and upwards i say